January 14, 2008 – 12:19 pm
Romantic love involves caring and a desire to be responsive to the other person’s needs. It is comforting to believe that as we age, we become better at giving and receiving love.
By: Natasha Morgan
Most women, no matter what their age, will not admit to being old. My grandmother at 85 and living in a senior’s home, quietly whispered to me one day that her only complaint was that the place was so full of “old” people. To further demonstrate this theory, studies have shown that we think of people reaching old age only when they are at least ten years our senior.
Acknowledging that we can feel youthful at any age, it’s not such a leap to accept that we can feel romantic love even in later life.
To help us understand these ideas, let us look at a definition of
It is an attitude we have toward another person, a sense of attachment and dependency upon another. Romantic love involves caring and a desire to be responsive to the other person’s needs. Included in this definition is trust and a willingness to disclose private and personal thoughts to the loved one.
Why then should we believe that we can feel Romantic Love only at a certain age?
Perhaps, the impression comes from observing couples who seem to be in love. When we are young, we appear to be “all consumed” by our loved one, to the exclusion of anyone else. We freely demonstrate our feelings in public by staring into each other’s eyes and kissing. However, as we get older, the show of affection in public is usually limited to holding hands. What takes place between lovers in private and how they act out their intimacy is rarely known to anyone but themselves.
Love is expressed not only by words but by behavior. If someone professes love but forgets our birthday or criticizes our appearance, we may doubt their sincerity. It is necessary to show love by behavior. Showing a genuine interest in the person’s activities, respecting his or her opinions and giving encouragement are some indication of love.
Age is not a barrier to these actions. Indeed, it can be argued that experience further enhances our ability to express love.
It is comforting to believe that as we age, we become better at giving and receiving love.
Note: The experience of love is quite different in other cultures and we should be careful not to generalize and apply these theories to “all lovers”.
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Photo: Rodrigo Moraes