A man who has a good relationship with mom is more sensitive, communicative and understanding toward women’s emotions than one who barely speaks to his mother.
By: Natasha Burton, Julie Fishman and Meagan McCrary
Ah, men and their mothers. It’s a bond we may not fully understand until we birth sons ourselves. In the meantime, we’ll keep busy by examining how the men in our lives interact with their mothers, in order to glean more info on their overall character. Here’s a guide to help your guy analysis.
1. He Calls Her Daily. If your man and his mom are always chatting, then he likely tells her everything. . . including intimate details of your relationship. Not only will she be privy to your private moments with her son, but she probably also weighs in on every argument the two of you have. And guess whose side she’ll be taking.
2. He Needs Her Input. There’s something emasculating about a grown man who can’t make a decision without his mother’s guidance. Sure, we’d like him to respect her opinions, but when he uses his mom as a crutch, it’s a sign that he’s too insecure to stand on his own two feet. If he doesn’t trust himself to make a decision, then how are you supposed to trust him to?
3. He’s Not Appreciative. A guy who takes his mother — the woman who gave him life — for granted probably doesn’t give props to any of the peeps in his life, including his girlfriend. This type of man typically has an inflated sense of self and feels entitled: He doesn’t thank people, because he thinks they’re just doing their required duty, whether it’s as a lover, a mother or a friend.
4. They’re Just Not Close. While there are legitimate reasons for a man to become estranged from his mother, some guys just don’t have the patience, time or heart to stay close to their moms. If he doesn’t value his relationship with the first woman to love him, then chances are that he won’t make his relationship with his lover a priority. . . and the same goes for his eventual family.
5. He Bad-Mouths Her. While not all mothers deserve a Mom of the Year award, regardless of how terrible a guy’s mom was or even still is, his propensity to diss the woman who birthed him is a poor reflection of his personality. A jab once in a while is understandable; constant bad-mouthing (or worse, whining) shows a lack of respect for women and a serious need to grow up.
6. He’s Not Respectful. Even if she was pretty awful in the past, if your guy is nasty to his mother in front of you or other people, then he’s tactless and insolent. And if he’s capable of treating his mom with such blatant callousness, then chances are that he won’t hesitate to berate you in public, either.
7. He Thinks She’s His Maid. If he still expects his mom to clean up after him, then this over-coddled dude likely relies on other people to handle all his adult responsibilities, like filling out job applications and scheduling appointments. The fact that he hasn’t taken ownership of these tasks shows that he’s immature and lazy.
8. He Still Adheres to Her Rules. Men who live by their mother’s edicts long after they’ve left the house don’t have the cojones to establish their own set of values and standards. If every sentence out of his mouth is “my mom says,” then it’s not only annoying, but also a signal that he’s afraid to live his own life.
9. He Puts Her On a Pedestal. When Mom is god’s gift to the world, whatever she says, does or thinks will always be superior to what you say, do or think. Even if you’re brighter, prettier and kinder than his mother, you’ll never quite measure up in his book.
10. He’s Close With Her. A guy who’s close with his mommy isn’t necessarily a momma’s boy. Actually, a man who has a good relationship with mom is generally more sensitive, communicative and understanding toward women’s emotions than one who barely speaks to his mother.
Â© 2011 Natasha Burton, Julie Fishman and Meagan McCrary authors of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags
About the Authors:
Natasha Burton, co-author of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted . . . But Chose to Ignore, is the Relationships Editor of Glo, a women’s website partnered with MSN.com. Her work has appeared in People, Glamour, WomansDay.com, FHMOnline, and Outblush.com. When she’s not grilling her friends about the most intimate details of their love lives, she’s most likely in the kitchen whipping up some Italian food.
Julie Fishman, co-author of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted . . . But Chose to Ignore, is a humor writer who works in screen, print, and web. She currently teaches at a college in Hollywood, pens a weekly cocktail column for Glo called “Hump Day Happy Hour,” and dreams up irreverent sitcom ideas. Aside from writing, she’s either hanging with her pooch and drinking wine, or talking about hanging with her pooch and drinking wine.
Meagan McCrary, co-author of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted . . . But Chose to Ignore, is an L.A.-based yoga teacher with an adventurous spirit for romance who has written about health and wellness for a variety of local lifestyles magazines. While she spends most of her days teaching Anusara yoga and giving private lessons to her various clients, she finds time to work on “being present” (and her tan) at the beach under the California sun.
Natasha, Julie, and Meagan are all Santa Monica — dwelling Pisceans who met while earning their Master’s of Professional Writing degrees at the University of Southern California.
For more information please visit Big Red Flags and follow the authors on Facebook and Twitter.