Starting to Date Again

Starting to Date Again

We know that the dating scene has changed considerably since we were younger. How will we know what is expected of us and what should we expect from our date?

By: Natasha Morgan

After years of being married or in a long time relationship most women find that starting to date again is daunting. Those of us in our middle-years who never expected to face this situation again are finding it extremely difficult.

We know that the dating scene has changed considerably since we were younger. How will we know what is expected of us and what should we expect from our date?

Recently, a group of baby-boomer women got together over lunch to exchange views on some common problems.

Justine:

“I’ve just met an interesting man whom I’d like to know better. Is it too forward of me to offer him my telephone number? What if he’s the type who would prefer to make the first move?”

Sharon:

“At the first meeting, you’ve probably established some common interests. You could suggest getting together sometime to share these interest i.e. play tennis, visit an exhibition, or see a movie. If he sounds interested you could give him your number without feeling that you’re being too forward.”

Susan:

“A mutual friend introduced me to a man who later called to ask me out for dinner. I was excited to hear from him but was full of self doubt. What should I wear? What if he chooses a restaurant that serves food that I don’t like. Who will pay?”

Helen:

“I found that a good way to elicit answers is to say: That sounds wonderful, which restaurant do you have in mind? The answer should give you clues on the dress code and if need be, give you an opportunity to tactfully suggest a different restaurant.”

Susan:

“Ok, but what about paying the bill?”

Nancy:

“I know it can be awkward but you’ll just have to be clear before you go. In today’s environment, it’s not uncommon to share the cost of the bill so don’t make assumptions. Having wrong expectations can cause embarrassment for both of you.”

Susan:

“That scares me. A doctor friend of mine revealed that some of her dates expected her to pick up the tab because she is a doctor and presumably had more money.”

Helen:

“I once planned to go on a dinner date to a newly opened Italian restaurant. We agreed on 7:00 PM on Friday evening. I was excited and dressed for the occasion but when 7:30 arrived and I was still waiting, I became angry and humiliated. Fortunately at 7:45 he called to ask where I was. Evidently, we were to meet at the restaurant. It was embarrassing but could have been much worse if he had assumed that I had stood him up.”

Susan:

“Yes, in my earlier dating years, I expected the man to pick me up from my home or office. Now many men feel it’s perfectly acceptable to meet at the restaurant.”

Just then, the lunch bill arrived and the women automatically passed it around the table. Without hesitation each put down the cost of her meal, including tax and tip.

Why can’t it be that easy when we go on a date?

Note:

This article was written specifically for notjustthekitchen.com.

It can be copied provided the content is in no way altered and the following link remains active: Read more articles geared toward women at NotJustTheKitchen.com.

Photo: borkur.net