They changed how they ate. They didn’t just cut back on junk food for a limited time, but made serious lifelong changes to their dietary habits.
By: Anita Mahaffey
Having had several serious brushes with my health in the past has contributed to my desire to be fit and healthy. My health nut status has even resulted in the family nick name “chief health officer”. A recent article about dieters who were successful in losing weight and keeping it off for over three years, peaked my interest. Here is a synopsis of the tips offered by these successful individuals.
All of the individuals interviewed did not diet. Instead they changed how they ate. They didn’t just cut back on junk food for a limited time, but made serious lifelong changes to their dietary habits. Most importantly, they began to exercise by making exercise an integral part of each and every day. The commonalities between all dieters were as follows:
•No dieting, instead there was a change in dietary habits on a permanent basis.
•Exercised on a daily basis…. way more than most people.
•Kept track of their food intake by counting calories or keeping a food journal. Most ate only 1200 to 1700 calories per day
•They weighed themselves regularly
•They had reminders, rebukes and rewards built into their lives
•They had support from family and friends
•They left nothing to chance
Here is what worked specifically for each of the successful dieters:
Kerwin: His diet used to be heavy on bread, pasta, pork, pancakes, fast food and Peach Snapple. He gave up all those foods and now eats more healthy carbs. He replaced the Snapple with plain old water. He also works out five to six times a week with cardio and weights. Before his life change he rarely exercised. He advises that it is OK to say no to certain foods and ask for smaller portions. Eventually it will become second nature and your body will begin to crave only the good foods.
Bonnie: She had tried running, but it hurt her knees. She hadn’t bothered with the gym because she wasn’t sure how to navigate the equipment and didn’t know what exercises were best. A friend showed her the ropes at the gym and Bonnie started eating a more vegetarian based diet. If she craves something she gets creative and figures out how to make a healthier version of it at home. Bonnie encourages people to find substitutes for eating by developing hobbies and going out with friends. It was important for her to identify her trigger situations and come up with alternatives to eating in those situations.
Janelle: She began to become more mindful of her eating habits. She trained herself to ask “Am I hungry or am I eating out of habit or boredom?” She reduced portion size and the number of times she ate each day. She exercised consistently doing an hour of cardio daily and added weights three times per week. Without the exercise she says she would definitely gain her weight back. When going out to eat, Janelle always checks the menu on the web ahead of time to see what will fit into her healthy eating plan.
Zev: He found that it was easier for him to eliminate his trigger foods versus just cutting back, so he cut out all ice cream, meat, white bread, white rice and anything with white flour. He also runs 4-8 miles per day which is good for his mind and his body. Running burns calories, but also helps Zev to reduce stress. Regarding desserts he says that most restaurants have fresh berries or fruit which is always his choice instead of the chocolate cake.
Mary Ann: She eats mainly fruit, vegetables, whole grains, lean meats and fish. If she really wants something, nothing is off limits, but she does watch her portions. She bases her calories on a formula of eating 12 to 15 calories per pound of desired body weight. When she goes out, she plans very carefully. She always eats something ahead of time or checks to make sure that there will be a healthy alternative available. At first the exercise was hard, but now she realizes that if she doesn’t exercise for at least 30-60 minutes each day, she will gain weight. Exercise is not an option, but instead it’s an integral part of her day.
I hope this article inspires my readers to incorporate some of these ideas into their daily lives. Your body is a gift and it is up to you to keep it fit, healthy and alive.
About the Author:
Anita Mahaffey is a mother of three, wife, writer public speaker and a business owner who lives in
Photo by: Glamlive
You may be “the one”…but probably not “the only one.”
By: Sherri Rifkin
Summer is my season. I’m just happier when the sun is shining, the air is warm and the days are long. I’ve also noticed that it’s no coincidence that summer is also the time of year when I typically find love—or when love finds me.
My propensity for finding summer love took root during my nine summers spent at co-ed sleep-away camp, where it was a badge of honor to have a “boyfriend” as a prepubescent tween, even if the relationship lasted a total of 1.5 weeks and consisted of a “Shabbat kiss” on Friday nights (the only sanctioned “fraternization” at my strict camp) and a slow dance at a “social.” With those criteria, one could easily have two to three boyfriends per summer without being deemed a slut at the tender age of twelve.
When I moved to
I’ve been hooked on the
And as the composition and atmospheres of those houses changed, so did the nature of the loves I found (or already had) during those summers. Some “loves” were about as deep and short-lived as the ones I had back in summer camp; others turned out to be some of the most important relationships of my life. Because during the summer emotions (and hormones) are as heightened as the temperatures, I’ve learned through trial, error and the occasional success that one must tread carefully through this particular field of wildflowers so it doesn’t quickly turn into a minefield.
Rules are universal and apply not only to the handful of semi-rarefied beach towns along the East End but anywhere where the mercury soars, strappy sandals are de rigueur and the whirring of nocturnal creatures sends pulses racing.
Here are some examples:
“Up” doesn’t necessarily mean “richer,” “smarter” or “of a higher social standing”—at least, outside of the
How many times have we all heard that no one likes an over-eager beaver, especially in dating? Well, we’re all going to keep on being reminded of that until some people finally learn how to tone that foolishness down! As much as it’s human nature to be flattered by attention, people tend to be turned off by too much of it. Even if you swear on your first dog’s grave that the attraction was instant and mutual, be sure to take into account the additional giddiness factor of summer and tack on at least half a day to what you think the right waiting period is before you send that gushy text. Better yet, have your most honest friend vet that gushy text and give him or her carte blanche to delete extraneous exclamation points.
Want to get someone to share their true feelings…or even have them in the first place? Go outside at night, take your shoes off, sink your feet into the cool grass/sand/water and look for falling stars. Admittedly this advice sounds super-cheesy but trust me, it works. One of the most romantic nights I ever had was spent lying on my back (fully-clothed!) on the deck of the summer house with all the lights off, head-to-head with my super-summer-crush watching a meteor shower for hours. Pure magic.
Especially in the summer, when it’s possible to make a little love “en plein air,” the temptation to snog on the beach is understandable. Even if you have a beach blanket as big as Rhode Island, save any greater intimacies for indoors. Remember how uncomfortable it was to have sand in your bathing suit as a kid? Multiply by ten.
You think you’re fooling anyone with that baseball hat and the college sweatshirt over last night’s LBD? Everyone knows what you’ve been doing, so just own it. Strut down the street like it’s the Catwalk of Shame and your its highest paid Supermodel.
If you think that your summer love might actually last until fall and possibly beyond, then it’s crucial to keep this rule in mind. Even if it annoys the heck out of you when your mother/older sister/know-it-all best friend says, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket,” when it comes to summer love, this might be the best advice of all. Until Labor Day has come and gone, do not assume you and your new honey are exclusive. Actually, never assume it until it is discussed and stated for the record. As I always say, hoping is not the same as knowing.
Step away from the computer, cell phone and other mobile devices. There’s no weaker moment than after you’ve just gotten home from a great first encounter or first date. You made it home without giving it all away in the first five seconds (and I’m not just talking about sex), so don’t blow it. Sleep on it—“it” being whatever impulse you have to send a follow-up message or invitation for the evening to continue—and reevaluate in the light of morning.
Even if you are not sharing a vacation house with friends, this rule still applies: if you’re going to have a fling with someone in your summer crowd, just remember that everyone else will probably know about it faster than you can say “Facebook.” Look before you lock lips.
Summer can be tough that way: everyone’s showing some skin, exercising more and working the fake-bake. It’s a fact: everyone looks cuter in the summer. Just be aware that the summer sun can create attraction where there might not be any in say, the dreariness of November or March.
T.S. Eliot might have been convinced that April is the cruelest month but when it comes to summer love, August is far more brutal. Not all summer loves are meant to last. In a way, that’s part of what makes them so special: they can be as fleeting as the season itself. If your fling gets flung, the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to kiss it goodbye and wish it well—and know that you’ll live to fling again by the time next Memorial Day rolls around.
About the Author:
Sherri Rifkin, a former TV marketing executive, lives in
Photo: monkeyleader
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In a national survey, one in five men preferred red lips on ladies. Red lips are striking and make a bold statement, but unfortunately for the average woman, they are also very hard to pull off.
By: Pat Jacobs
Red lipstick is one of this season’s hottest fashion trends. It’s an enduring classic look, yet is one of the most difficult to achieve successfully.
In a national survey conducted for Softlips Lip Conditioning Balm, one in five men preferred red lips on ladies.
“Red lips are striking and make a bold statement, but unfortunately for the average woman, they are also very hard to pull off “, according to celebrity makeup artist Belinda Moss.”It isn’t just about slapping on the color. Two keys to looking great in red are choosing the right hue for your skin tone and applying your lipstick properly”.
For red lips that will stay perfect for hours, here’s her advice:
“Some red shades have blue undertones; only women with very fair skin will look good in these colors”, Moss said. “Everyone else should stick with yellow and orange undertones, or you’ll risk looking like a clown or vampire.” To find a yellow-hued red, look for shades with names like “brick”, “terra cotta”, and “chili”. (If you really like blue-toned reds, but are not fair-skinned, you can still wear them on top of another shade. Fill in your entire mouth with a yellow-red lipstick, then dab the center of your lips with a blue-red shade. Your lips will “pop” with a bright, vibrant red effect!)
Shiny reds are more subtle easier to apply because they won’t bleed as much , so red glosses work very well for daytime. Matte reds are more dramatic and eye-catching (They’re opaque, rich, non-shiny and last the longest of all the lipstick formulas), but they can dry out your lips and cause flaking. “When using a matte lipstick of any color, make sure to keep your lips moisturized”, advises Moss. I recommend Softlips Lip Conditioning Balm because it softens lips without making them waxy or greasy, and it has great flavor (“She’s right; I have used this, and it’s excellent. I currently alternate between strawberry and vanilla! ). This product also has SPF 20 to protect lips from sun damage.
Red lipstick can be especially hard to apply, because it emphasizes any feathering. To prevent your lipstick from bleeding off the lips, apply concealer to the outside edge of the lips, then dust powder across the whole mouth to set. Apply a nude lip liner over your ENTIRE lip, then blot and powder your lips; apply the pencil again.
“If you want to wear red lipstick, you absolutely need to apply pencil over your entire lip to help the color stay put. By wearing TWO COATS of pencil, you won’t
need to reapply your color for hours”, Moss stated. “Apply two coats of Softlips Balm to seal the lip liner, help your color last even longer, and keep the lips smooth. Now apply color. Use a brush for maximum precision”, she added. “And don’t kiss anyone right after applying, or all your careful work will just end up smearing!” The air kiss is best, especially when wearing red”.
Sheer Moisturizing Lipstick is more casual (and forgiving) than their matte counterparts; these contain moisturizing ingredients like vitamin E or
jojoba oil to keep lips supple and soft. These shades don’t require as much structure as mattes. Apply from the tube without lip lines, or pat them on with you
finger.
Lip Stain will appear super-dark and liquidy in the package, but they go on rosy or berry-hued. They will stay on for a very long time. This shade can be applied quickly.
Lip Gloss comes in many different textures, from very thick and syrupy to light and slippery. It makes thin lips look plumper, and the shiny finish is a very hot look right now. Apply by sweeping it on with a wand, or if it’s in a pot, dab on with your finger. Glosses aren’t supposed to look perfect. But for a more polished look, line and fill in lips with a matching lip pencil (The best hot brands have just come out with sheer pencils that complement the texture of gloss), then apply the gloss.
Every look is based on one of four eye/lip combinations - Light eye/Light lips, Light eye/Dark lips, Dark eye/Light lips, and Dark eye/Dark lips.
1. Light eye/Light lips-This is a fresh, dewy, “no makeup” look. Matte neutral shadows and shimmery creams are used. Lip shades are warm carmels, coffees,
toasts, and anything with a hint of golden undertones.
2. Light eye/Dark lips-This is classic, elegant, very 1950s, and very ladylike. You’ll use a lot of black mascara and no shadow. Lip shades are deep and dramatic, like plum, true crimson, and deep bronze.
3. Dark eye/Light lip-A sexy, party look is conveyed here. The lip shades are subtle, but are in purple, emeralds, and maroon.
4. Dark eye/Dark lip-We’re talking serious glamour here. Eye and lip shades should have the same tone. For example, a purple eye will eggplant stain lipstick is an ideal look. A bronze eye with a golden-chestnut lip gloss will also look sensational.
About the Author:
Pat Jacobs is currently the writer/producer of “The World Of 1960s Music” blog on Yahoo 360 (degrees).
She also writes features for www. ehow.com (how-to articles) and www.associatedcontent.com (various non-fiction).
She can be reached at Patj25@yahoo.com
Photo:
Women have unique needs as they explore new possibilities and redesign the old model of retirement, which no longer offers the challenges that these women experienced throughout their careers.
1. You can’t shake the idea that you’ve just passed a milestone birthday.
2. Your present career plan has reached a plateau and you are questioning the value of your work.
3. You are excessively irritated by new rules and regulations at work, and find such things as commuting in traffic intolerable.
4. Things that previously motivated you at work (having power or being competitive) no longer seem so important to you.
5. You want to read a book for pleasure and not think of it as an action project.
6. You focus on things you aren’t doing in life, and long for a better work/life balance.
7. You want to spend your time doing something that has meaning and purpose.
8. You feel an urgent need to explore your creative side, reconnect with long-lost friends and family, and focus on having a healthy lifestyle.
9. You want to overcome self-limiting foibles and finally discard the demons that have held you back.
10. You no longer want to postpone acting upon your dreams.
Adapted from Smart Women Don’t Retire - They Break Free: From Working Full-Time to Living Full-Time by THE TRANSITION NETWORK and Gail Rentsch.
When we maintain a regular exercise program, we not only build our bones, but help ourselves to feel better both physically and mentally.
By: Anita Mahaffey
As women enter menopause their bone density decreases naturally. Doctors recommend weight bearing exercise to help keep bones strong. Weight bearing exercise can include walking, running, weight lifting or strength yoga as a few of the options. When we maintain a regular exercise program, we not only build our bones, but help ourselves to feel better both physically and mentally.
Below are the Key Benefits of regular weight bearing exercise.
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- Over time weight bearing exercise will reduce your body fat, increase your lean muscle mass so you burn calories more efficiently.
- Over time weight bearing exercise will reduce your body fat, increase your lean muscle mass so you burn calories more efficiently.
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- Exercise will increase bone mass especially during menopause. By stressing your bones, strength training increases bone density and reduces the risk of osteoporosis. If you already have osteoporosis, strength training can lessen its impact.
- Exercise will increase bone mass especially during menopause. By stressing your bones, strength training increases bone density and reduces the risk of osteoporosis. If you already have osteoporosis, strength training can lessen its impact.
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- By improving muscle tone, you can reduce your risk of injury. Building muscle protects your joints from injury. It also helps you maintain flexibility and balance.
- By improving muscle tone, you can reduce your risk of injury. Building muscle protects your joints from injury. It also helps you maintain flexibility and balance.
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- Exercise increases energy and stamina. Some people believe exercise will tire them out, but when you exercise your body begins to work more efficiently, so you feel more energized throughout the day.
- Exercise increases energy and stamina. Some people believe exercise will tire them out, but when you exercise your body begins to work more efficiently, so you feel more energized throughout the day.
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- It improves your sense of well-being. Strength training can boost your self-confidence, improve your body image and reduce the risk of depression. Exercise increases the serotonin levels in the brain which in turn create an internal sense of well-being.
- It improves your sense of well-being. Strength training can boost your self-confidence, improve your body image and reduce the risk of depression. Exercise increases the serotonin levels in the brain which in turn create an internal sense of well-being.
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- You’ll get a better night’s sleep. People who exercise regularly tend to sleep better at night. Those pesky menopausal symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats may not bother you as much if you are sleeping more soundly.
- You’ll get a better night’s sleep. People who exercise regularly tend to sleep better at night. Those pesky menopausal symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats may not bother you as much if you are sleeping more soundly.
About the Author:
Anita Mahaffey is a mother of three, wife, writer public speaker and a business owner who lives in
Photo: Amma Maw
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My career in sales gave birth to my true conviction in the power of my legs. Shorn in the sheerest silk stockings, right ankle adorned with a dainty gold bracelet, they became my ticket to the head honcho.
I was twelve years old and it was a customary weekend at my grandfather’s farm in
Sunday afternoon as we were leaving to go home, my sixteen-year-old cousin Richard, walked me to the car. Sliding into the seat, I raised my face for his customary kiss on the cheek, but this time he whispered, “You’ve got great legs, Jacquie.” I drew back, but before I could ask the question, the car door closed. Winking, he turned away. Looking down, I saw two legs sticking out of a pair of homemade pumpkin-colored shorts. The shorts looked as though they had been fashioned from an orange gunny-sack.
What does that mean? What are great legs? These are just the same old legs I’ve always had. Being a little sprout enabled me to stretch those appendages full length in front of me in the back seat without touching the front seat of our Desoto. Staring at them intently, I wondered; what was the secret thing that made them great?
These are the same legs that straddle a horse bareback and ride through meadows, the wind tickling as it whooshes between my naked toes; they run the length of the makeshift football field my Dad has fashioned in our backyard, using a grass seed spreader and lime – only functional until it rains. The limbs stretched before me are what I wrap around my father’s waist as he gallops through the house holding me piggyback. Both of us laughing conspiratorially, my mother shouts “Take it outside you two…no running in the house.” Somewhere in that five hour drive, and after a reasonably long nap, I forgot about my legs entirely.
It took four long years – between the ages of twelve and sixteen – for my parents to cajole me into being a girl. I absolutely never thought about my legs unless one had to be tended for injury. Running track, they kicked up a cloud of cinders behind me; swimming they propelled me forward, and diving from a high board, they folded on cue into a perfect jackknife before elongating and disappearing into the pool. They barely made a splash.
The evening of my sixteenth birthday, after extinguishing the candles on my cake with one breath, I was silently wishing for a bigger and better football field in the back yard. My father, walking towards me, began by draping me in a bear hug as he ruffled the top of my pixie short hair. “Jacquie,” he smiled, “You’re a young lady now. I won’t be taking you to the barber shop with your brother anymore. Mom’s gonna take you to the beauty shop. And by the way, maybe it isn’t so ladylike for you to climb trees.” He rattled on, “Oh you can watch the games with me, but honey, you’re starting to develop, and I don’t want you playing football with the boys anymore.” Taking my hand, Mother led me into my room. Her face, beaming like a new moon, she held up skirt, after skirt, and dress after dress. Until now, the only time I was out of pants was for church every Sunday. It was the worst birthday of my life.
During my sophomore year of high school, wearing skirts provoked comments from boys about my great legs. Once, even a teacher whispered in passing, “Psst… great gams.” By the end of my senior year I was beginning to think that there could be something to this after all. Cute and perky not beautiful, my appearance didn’t matter because now I was convinced that even if I grew a beard, I could still catch a date …because of my great legs.
My legs conjoined with my idea of femininity and at seventeen I was okay with being a girl. Time marched forward; my hair got longer and after learning the specifics about make-up and skin care, my eyes became ringed in eyeliner as I brushed my cheeks in pretty pink blush.
My career in sales gave birth to my true conviction in the power of my legs. Shorn in the sheerest silk stockings, right ankle adorned with a dainty gold bracelet, they became my ticket to the head honcho - the guy who could seal the deal. I knew my business, I knew my product, and I was a great closer. But who was I kidding? In the long run, it was probably the legs. My customers were without exception, men.
Short skirts, never out of fashion for me, assured that my legs were clearly visible beneath a hemline slightly south of immodest. Sitting across from my date, legs crossed, my top leg would swing a 2/2 beat synchronized with an unseen metronome; and I knew exactly how high to bounce that leg to make him believe he just might get a glimpse of the Promised Land.
My legs, responsible for my two marriages, I’m fairly certain, and a few serious relationships in between, weren’t enough to sustain the connectivity. But without them, might I have been an old maid?
So it stands to reason, that my legs have brought me full circle to the realization that I have become…a woman of “a certain age.” Striking without warning, it startles like blunt force trauma to the head.
I was to attend an out-of-town wedding and wanted to look my best. I have a pool three steps from my back door and swim almost daily, but rarely do I sunbathe. Gazing at what I still assumed were my thirty-five year old legs I observed a few brown spots…not many…and maybe a few leftover shaving scars that didn’t appear too conspicuous; but I thought the pallor unattractive.
Among other things, moving to
With a 50 SPF sunscreen slathered over my face, shoulders, and décolleté, I lay fully prone on my lounge chair, holding my newspaper straight armed above my face so the shadow would further protect that part of me. Confident that a few hours of sun would bring my legs to a lightly toasted, caramel colored look, I immersed myself into the Sunday New York Times Styles section. The sun was warm as it painted my legs.
Later that evening, resting my bare feet on the coffee table, I noticed them. What the hell were those white streaky things across my knees? Bending forward to examine further, I was confronted with my knee wrinkles for the first time. I could barely hold my terror at bay. Had I pointed my toes, or what? My legs had to be stiff as boards not to tan those wrinkles. The crash of reality sounded unerringly like a train leaving the track. I had knee wrinkles, and they were wide and deep.
Don’t panic, my inner voice intoned. Scurrying into my bathroom I opened a vanity drawer searching for a sample pack of tanner. It wasn’t self tanner, but rather a new glow product, which tanned in a few minutes, didn’t stain clothing, and washed off. So the writing on the packet claimed, at least. Breathing a sigh of relief, I thought, I can fix this.
Carefully, I applied a sparse coating to my legs before lowering myself to the floor, a bad back dictating my death grip on the edge of the counter. Kneeling, I rocked back on my heels before putting my weight on the heel of my hand. My taut thighs made the wrinkles disappear as I rubbed a tiny bit more directly onto the scurrilous white lines. Pondering if I needed to hold this position for two or ten minutes…,I wasn’t sure, my back started screaming and my knees cracked in protest. Do I really want to glow anyhow? What does that mean? I just want nice, evenly colored, brown legs showing beneath my gold sheath dress and tapering nicely into spiked 4” gold Prada evening sandals. Is that too much to ask…really?
A moment of reflection caught me wondering…had I missed the knee cream aisle at Neiman Marcus? For years I’ve been buying fancy expensive creams for my face – progesterone enhanced, collagen laced, whatever. Apparently they work. I can count all the wrinkles on my face and neck and combined they wouldn’t equal the wrinkles on my right knee alone! Struggling to my feet, I grip the counter while lifting all of my 105 pounds into standing position. Whispering a small prayer…. please God, I’ll do whatever you ask if my knee wrinkles tanned evenly…I pause, waiting for the crick in my back to subside before walking to the full length mirror.
Looking down at my feet, my eyes sweep upwards. My mouth opened in a perfect oval before both hands fly to my face. The smallish brown spots are now blazing like newly minted quarter sized copper pennies. There are three on one leg and two on the other – not even symmetrical polka dots. The skin around the quarter sized copper pennies, is the hue of month old copper pennies – smudged and matte flat. The minuscule shaving scars now resemble uneven strips of dead grey flesh. I hear an ethereal screech as my eyes reach mid-leg to behold black knees. Looking like I had been kneeling in the garden for hours with soil deeply embedded into my wrinkles, they appear longer and positively cavernous. Tears are threatening as I sink into a heap.
Aha! In the last three weeks I had been on three coffee dates in my standard attire; a short skirt with a tidy blouse and high heels. From the moment these men laid eyes on me, I saw that my legs held no appeal to them. Their gaze wandered downward to my sticks…usual… yet rebounded to my face immediately…unusual. Now it became clear. I’d never get past the Barnes and Noble café if I continued to expose my knees. No more free ride, slide by, forget I have a beard, check out the legs days. I’m still a good closer, but no talk, no spiel is smooth enough to make a guy forget those puppies. No sir.
Where did they come from, these bags above my knee caps? I stretched my legs in front of me and jiggled one. Oh yeah, it was real. As it quivered, so did I… with repugnance.
So there you have it. In terms of a painful coming of age, this isn’t too far behind my sixteenth birthday. Like taking a ping pong paddle to the face, I am bludgeoned into realizing that I have become a woman of “a certain age” with my now acknowledged knee wrinkles.
I scrub the glow from my skin, and dress in slacks with a tidy blouse and high heels. Grabbing my purse I head to the mall knowing I will stop for panty hose before scouring Neiman Marcus. I will find the damn knee cream aisle today…yes I will.
Evidently my legs are no longer a commodity. Spotting an entirely climbable Banyan tree while driving by the park, I can’t help but wonder…am I too old to be a tomboy again? It might be exhilarating to return to a time when my legs were…just my legs.
About the Author:
Jacqueline Gum is the author of a book, Confessions of a Corporate Slut published in January 2008. For more information about Jacqueline, or her book chronicling the world of a corporate wife, visit her website at:
An invoice that tells you to “keep this receipt for your records” doesn’t mean that your donation is tax deductible or that the organization is tax exempt.
By: US Federal Trade Commission
Consider the following precautions to ensure that your donation dollars benefit the people and organizations you want to help. They’re good practices whether you’re contacted by an organization’s employees, volunteers or professional fund-raisers, soliciting donations by phone, mail or in person.
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- Be wary of appeals that tug at your heart strings, especially pleas involving patriotism and current events. Although the Department of Defense does not endorse any specific war related charity, you can visit their Web site at www.army.mil/operations/oif/FAQ.html to find out about military relief societies that provide assistance to U.S. Servicemembers and their families.
- Ask for written information about the charity, including name, address and telephone number. A legitimate charity or fund-raiser will give you information about the charity’s mission, how your donation will be used and proof that your contribution is tax deductible.
- Check out the charity’s financial information. For many organizations, this information can be found online at www.guidestar.org or at GuideStar, 4801 Courthouse Street, Suite 220, Williamsburg, VA 23188; 757-229-4631.
- Ask for identification. The Telemarketing Sales Rule requires for-profit fund-raisers to disclose the name of the charity requesting the donation. Many states require paid fund-raisers to identify themselves as such and to name the charity for which they’re soliciting. If the solicitor refuses to tell you, hang up and report it to law enforcement officials.
- Call the charity. Find out if the organization is aware of the solicitation and has authorized the use of its name. If not, you may be dealing with a scam artist.
- Check with local recipients. If giving to local organizations is important to you, make sure they will benefit from your generosity. If a charity tells you that your dollars will support a local organization, such as a fire department, police department or hospital, call the organization to verify the claim.
- Watch out for similar sounding names. Some phony charities use names that closely resemble those of respected, legitimate organizations. If you notice a small difference from the name of the charity you intend to deal with, call the organization you know to check it out.
- Know the difference between “tax exempt” and “tax deductible.” Tax exempt means the organization doesn’t have to pay taxes. Tax deductible means you can deduct your contribution on your federal income tax return. Even if an organization is tax exempt, your contribution may not be tax deductible. If a tax deduction is important to you, ask for a receipt showing the amount of your contribution and stating that it is tax deductible.
Beware of organizations that use meaningless terms to suggest they are tax exempt charities. For example, the fact that an organization has a “tax I.D. number” doesn’t mean it is a charity; every nonprofit and for-profit organization must have a tax I.D. number. And an invoice that tells you to “keep this receipt for your records” doesn’t mean that your donation is tax deductible or that the organization is tax exempt.
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- Be skeptical if someone thanks you for a pledge you don’t remember making. If you have any doubts about whether you’ve made a pledge or previously contributed, check your records. Be on the alert for invoices claiming you’ve made a pledge. Some unscrupulous solicitors use this approach to get your money.
- Ask how your donation will be distributed. How much will go to the program you want to support (as opposed to other programs of the nonprofit), and how much will cover the charity’s administrative and telemarketing costs?
- Refuse high pressure appeals. Legitimate fund-raisers won’t push you to give on the spot.
- Be wary of charities offering to send a courier or overnight delivery service to collect your donation immediately.
- Consider the costs. When buying merchandise or tickets for special events, or when receiving “free” goods in exchange for giving, remember that these items cost money and generally are paid for out of your contribution. Although this can be an effective fund-raising tool, less money may be available for the charity.
- Be wary of guaranteed sweepstakes winnings in exchange for a contribution. According to law, you never have to donate anything to be eligible to win.
- Avoid cash gifts. Cash can be lost or stolen. For security and tax record purposes, it’s best to pay by check.
For more information visit:
US Federal Trade Commission
Photo: “T” altered art
No matter what change or transition is going on, no matter what decision you need to make, find some time to be alone and silent.
By: Ariane de Bonvoisin
When we make a change in our lives — going back to school, starting a business, pursuing a creative path — we also provoke an identity shift. And even though the changes are external, often it’s more of an internal journey that we are being asked to take. To ensure that we don’t get lost along the way, we need to connect with the core of our being, the essence of who we are.
Every great leader, athlete, and hero has believed in something greater than himself or herself. Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, and JFK are among the many who referred to a connection with something greater: their soul, their source, or their relationship to God or the Divine. They acknowledged the presence of the Divine in every difficult situation, and they allowed it to be a helping presence in their lives. During the first thirty days of moving through a change, and throughout your whole life, it’s important to ask yourself what you are willing to trust. Really ask yourself, Where is my trust these days?
Some of us believe there is something bigger going on. We look at nature, at the miracle of birth, a sunrise, the stars above, and contemplate a bigger sense of power, a feeling that we are not alone, that something — or someone — is present. This something is the sanctuary that can help us get centered in times of crisis and change. We may not know this for sure, but maybe there is some sort of energy, a power we can tap into, an army of invisible forces just waiting to help us. Perhaps they exist solely to assist us, to prepare the way, and to be on our side. I call them my friends upstairs.
We all have things we turn to. Perhaps it’s meditation, prayer, a belief in the law of attraction, or visualization. Or maybe it’s a connection to nature, a certain type of calming music, or a creative outlet like writing or painting. Whatever it is, it will help you during times of change by allowing you to connect to who you really are.
Even during the most dramatic change, there is always a place within us that is calm, collected, and comfortable, that knows how to cope with change. This part of ourselves doesn’t fluctuate when circumstances are changing all around us. For most of us, it’s something we call our higher self, our soul, or our connection to the Divine or God.
During times of change, most of us crave understanding. We want to make sense of the seeming chaos around us. The place I’m speaking of, though, I call inner-standing. It’s the part of you that is calm and wise, that accepts things as they are. That part of you is eternal, unchanging; it is whole and complete, and you can’t get rid of it no matter how hard you try. Connecting to this inner place means aligning with the person you were before the change, during the change, and after the change. It’s about remembering who you are.
Peace and Quiet
No matter what change or transition is going on, no matter what decision you need to make, find some time to be alone and silent. Often we are looking for more peace in our lives, but we don’t do what we need to do to make it happen. So many times our higher self tries to give us answers or solutions, but with all our busyness, we can never stop to reflect. This is why meditation has become so popular in our culture today: Although you may think of meditation as passive, it is in fact an active way of creating time in the day to connect with the deeper part of yourself. Meditation stops your resistance to change by allowing you to find the relationship between the little you and the bigger you and to remind yourself that you are exactly where you need to be. When you get quiet you’ll see that life knows what’s happening.
There are many different forms of meditation, but at its core all meditation is the practice of taking a few minutes a day to stop and do absolutely nothing. No phone calls, e-mails, computers, talking, eating, television . . . nothing. Slow down the engine that runs your mind, and take time to focus on the engine that runs your body: When you simply acknowledge your breath — breathing in and out — you are tapping into your life force. Just allow everything to be exactly as it is. Sometimes, it feels good just to hang out in God’s waiting room!
Isn’t it extraordinary how much we fight the idea of being quiet? What are we afraid of? What’s the worst that could happen? Who could come out and hurt us? What are we avoiding? There are few things more essential than taking five to ten minutes a day to find your center; it will help you handle anything going on in your life. Just be quiet. Nearly every religion encourages silence and solitude. Remember: whenever we lose something external during change, we always have the chance to regain an inner home.
About the Author:
Ariane de Bonvoisin is the author of the book The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Any Change (and Loving Your Life More)
She is the founder of first30days.com, a website that helps people transition through dozens of changes, whether the change involves a health diagnosis, going green, moving to a
Photo: honey-bee
The 9th annual National Women’s Health Week will kick off on Mother’s Day,
National Women’s Health Week empowers women across the country to get healthy by taking action. The nationwide initiative, coordinated by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Office on Women’s Health (OWH), encourages women to make their health a top priority and take simple steps for a longer, healthier and happier life. During the week, families, communities, businesses, government, health organizations and other groups work together to educate women about steps they can take to improve their physical and mental health and prevent disease, like:
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- Engaging in physical activity most days of the week
- Making healthy food choices
- Visiting a healthcare provider to receive regular check-ups and preventive screenings
- Avoiding risky behaviors, like smoking and not wearing a seatbelt
- Engaging in physical activity most days of the week
What is the WOMAN Challenge?
This May, thousands of women across the country will embark on an eight-week physical activity challenge for better health. They will be part of the WOMAN Challenge: Women and girls Out Moving Across the Nation.
To kick-off the ninth annual National Women’s Health Week (
Be one of the first to register and…
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- Receive a tracking log to record your progress throughout the eight week Challenge and the remaining year
- Receive weekly motivational e-mails and health tips to help you reach your personal physical activity goals
- Choose 1 of 6 virtual routes throughout the
- Participate as an individual or form a team
- Receive a tracking log to record your progress throughout the eight week Challenge and the remaining year
The WOMAN Challenge welcomes all women and girls (ages 9 and above) to participate.
For more information please visit: 
Do your mortgage payments have you stressed out? If you’re like some people who bought or refinanced homes in the last few years, you may be facing a major increase in your mortgage’s interest rate and monthly payments.
By:
Here are some tips to help you manage your payments and maintain ownership of your home:
Don’t Ignore the Problem
Many people avoid contact with their lender about mortgage troubles because they feel embarrassed discussing money problems with others. Or sometimes people believe that if lenders know that they are in trouble, the company will automatically rush to a collection agency or foreclosure. This is not the case. It is very important that you respond to mail and phone calls from your lender, because the first notices you receive will offer good information about foreclosure prevention options.
Contact Your Lender
Before you have any conversations with your mortgage company, gather this information and be prepared to discuss it:
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- Loan documents/ type of mortgage
- Loan account number
- Recent proof of income documents
- Benefit statements (Social Security, disability, unemployment, retirement, public assistance)
- Tax returns
- Household expenses
- Check the foreclosure laws and time frames in your state at the State Government Housing Office
- The amount of equity in your home: Market value – Balance due on mortgage(s) and/or home equity loans
- Loan documents/ type of mortgage
Then think about how you would answer the following questions:
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- What happened to make you miss your mortgage payment(s)?
- How have you tried to resolve the problem?
- Is your problem temporary, long-term, or permanent?
- What changes in your situation do you see in the short term, and in the long term?
- What other financial issues may be stopping you from staying current with your mortgage?
- What type of payment arrangement would be feasible for you?
- What happened to make you miss your mortgage payment(s)?
Contact your mortgage lender to discuss your circumstances as soon as you realize that you’re unable to make your payments. Make sure to let them know that you are serious about keeping your house, including reducing your spending, prioritizing your debt or taking a second job. Most mortgage companies are willing to work with customers they believe are acting in good faith, and those who call them early on. The longer you wait to call, the fewer options you will have.
In addition to contacting your mortgage company, you should consider contacting a reputable housing counselor. The Department of Treasury and the Department of Housing and Urban Development have created the Hope Now Alliance. The
Working with Your Mortgage Lender
After providing your lender with information on your circumstances, you might qualify for a loan workout option.
If your problem is temporary, one of the following options may work for you:
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- Reinstatement: You pay the loan services the entire past-due amount, plus any late fees or penalties by a specific date.
- Forbearance: Your lender may allow you to reduce or suspend payments for a short period of time. At the end of the suspended period, you will pay your regular payment plus an additional agreed-upon amount that will cover the payments that were not made during the forbearance period.
- Repayment plan: You may be able to get an agreement to resume making your regular monthly payments, plus a portion of the past due payments each month until you are caught up.
- Reinstatement: You pay the loan services the entire past-due amount, plus any late fees or penalties by a specific date.
If it appears that your situation is long-term or permanent your options may include:
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- Mortgage modification: Your lender may be able to change the terms of your original loan to make the payments more manageable. Your loan could be permanently changed in one or more of the following ways:
- Adding the missed payments to the existing loan balance.
- Changing the interest rate, including making an adjustable rate into a fixed rate.
- Extending the number of years you have to repay.
- If your mortgage is insured, your lender might help you get a one-time interest-free loan from your mortgage guarantor to bring your account current. You may be allowed to wait several years before repaying this loan.
- Adding the missed payments to the existing loan balance.
- Use your assets: Do you have assets-a second car, jewelry, a whole life insurance policy-that you can sell for cash to help reinstate your loan? Can anyone in your household get an extra job to bring in additional income? Even if these efforts don’t significantly increase your available cash or your income, they demonstrate to your lender that you are willing to make sacrifices to keep your home.
- Mortgage modification: Your lender may be able to change the terms of your original loan to make the payments more manageable. Your loan could be permanently changed in one or more of the following ways:
Whether your situation is temporary or long-term, you should review and prioritize your spending. You should also consider federal housing programs, such as FHASecure. This program is a refinancing option that gives credit-worthy homeowners, who were making timely mortgage payments before their loans reset but are now in default, a second chance with a FHA insured loan product. There may be additional options available if you are a veteran.
Mortgage Solution Scams
Most mortgage professionals are trustworthy and provide a valuable service by allowing families to own a home without saving enough money to buy it outright. But dishonest or “predatory” lenders do exist and engage in lending practices that increase the chances that a borrower will lose a home to foreclosure. Borrowers facing unemployment and/or foreclosure are often targets of predatory lenders because they are desperate to find any “solution.” Some abusive practices include:
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- Offering to repay the mortgage or sell the property if you sign over the deed and move out. This usually leaves you still owing the debt but without your house.
- Foreclosure prevention companies or “specialists” that charge you a hefty fee for information and services your lender or a HUD-approved housing counselor will provide for free if you contact them.
- Scam artists who tell you that you will be able to remain in the house as a renter and eventually buy it back if you sign over the deed to your home.
- Offering to repay the mortgage or sell the property if you sign over the deed and move out. This usually leaves you still owing the debt but without your house.
If you receive a proposed solution that seems too good to be true, it probably is. Before signing to take on additional mortgage debt, refinancing, or signing over your title, contact a HUD-approved housing counseling agency.
For more information:
Federal Citizen Information Center, Pueblo, CO - Award-winning free federal info. on saving money, investing, getting federal benefits, buying cars and houses, staying healthy, parenting, solving consumer problems and more.
Photo by: jonrawlinson